Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
