At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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