Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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