mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
