respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
