Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
false alarm, still single
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