3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
