You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
