i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
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