Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
