I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
