I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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