So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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