we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
