i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wish i was in the wii world.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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