Im at strip club and am horny
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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