Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
