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Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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