Can i not drive my cunt home
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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