You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
