I just made out with a guy for $7.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
