i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
