Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
