AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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