I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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