i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
