the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
