I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish you could order shots online.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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