That's intense
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
