I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
