i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
