I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
