If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
