Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
