It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
