Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
