what if every blade of grass was a penis?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
