I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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