I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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