I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Damn victory sex feels great
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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