You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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