Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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