remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
