He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
