It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
