I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
