I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
