So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize