"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
