Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
