How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
