woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My cat gives me a boner
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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