Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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